Morning Coffee:

“One of the luxuries of life on the waterways was that the early morning cup of coffee could be manufactured without stirring from the warm depths of the sleeping bag. Accordingly I drowsed, while the tent filled with steam and a female announcer wittered soothingly about Haydn on Radio 3.

To make morning coffee: take 2 oz Nescafe, 3 oz sugar (white -no cranks) and half a tin of condensed milk. Place in large jam jar (the cup had fallen overboard the previous day in a more than usually fetid lock) and mix with boiling water to as thin a paste a possible, given the limited space available. Blow on the resulting sludge until cool enough to drink.

Take a sip. SHAZAM!

The spine, still wallowing about on the camp-bed, suddenly stiffens with a rattle of vertebrae. The heartbeat, previously a lolloping fifty-five to the minute, accelerates to 140. the eyes start from the head, and the brain, which has hitherto been wondering whether the nice-sounding young lady on the radio had any idea that she was i what must be the smallest and rankest bedroom in the British Isles, leaps into forward motion with a clash of gears. ACTION!”

Quote taken from pg 108-109 The Worst Journey in the Midlands by Sam Llewellyn – book review to follow…



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